So, FINALLY I get to go to the Lancaster Skateboard warehouse this evening. Enough with my hiking and extensive surf trips. Enough of the shin splint ankle xray bullshit. Enough.

To fill you in, the Lancaster Skateboard Society has a warehouse (you can't go) that they have been renting and building structure in side of for rippage. Yah, I know brah, just like Philly.

Kramer and the boys have been framing and screwing their asses off. I would love to get a piece of that action, but I've been way too busy being responsible....

So anyhow, there is a good section of it that is now skateable. I'm heading in there now to meet a couple bros and will try to damage some of my body. It's been a while since I've been able to shred, so we'll see what happens. (I know what's going to happen...I'll take about five runs and head to the beer cooler for the rest of the night to complain about a prior concrete injury).

The only thing that kind of sucks is that none of these guys will want to listen to the Cure or Bright Eyes. I know I'm going to walk in there and it will be Slayer and all the dudes will be ripping and bouncing off the walls. Seber will be there holding down a corner somewhere, Chad will be screwing his brains out and an assortment of others will be ripping around the bowl at mach speeds listening to headache music. Damn. Maybe I'll just stay here and write stupid stories on my computer...

Or maybe I'll just find my helmet and go...shit...where is my fucking helmet? Fuck it. I'm not wearing it..no, I have to..I have a condition. Ok, fuck it, I'll just wear this hat and my old helmet. There. Helmet on. Damn sometimes I wish some of these Lancaster skaters could just drop the cool card and wear one with me...that's not going to happen. Fuck it.

I'm there for three minutes listening to really hard music, wearing my stupid helmet and some youngster from the neighborhood starts busting on my helmet. “Yo man? How you ride with that helmet on? I can't ride skateboard with no helmet! You got head concussion before? Yeah? I hate wearin' some helmet. I can't ride my skateboard with no..”

Me: “Yeah dude...I know. I hate wearing a helmet. It's not cool...it's stupid. I have a condition. I have to wear it at all times, and right now I'm trying to forget that I'm wearing it, so can you just chill out with the helmet talk?”

He said something else that was sort of street savvy that I could not keep up with so I just did my best and murmured “word”.

The locals were all there and seemingly glad to see me. We high-fived and I cornered Bobby to talk about food. Clint wasn't skating because he has “broken ribs”...he was wasted. I always find Tito a joy to skate with and Seber was ...working? Tabor kept texting me mean messages because we were supposed to hang out and I was skating. Really? I was expecting this type of messaging from an angry wife or jealous lover...(I had none of either) and I kept getting this head trip from him every so often. Finally I completely ignored my phone and started to show some of these young whippersnappers what time it was...not really.

Eventually (much later than I originally thought it would take) I had a slight tumble at severe speed and I retired beside the beer cooler. We saluted the survivors and shared cigarettes. I like this crew. I miss these dudes and really love them...but if I'd ever tell them the 'love' part, I believe they'd never talk to me again. I kept silent about that part and whipped empty beer cans across the room when necessary.

'Chief' was there. He is a man of great wisdom and sensibility. His chevy van was docked outside the doors and it stood proud and loyal in the lane. I speak cautiously around him and respect his Indian heritage. He did not recognize me from years ago...I didn't want to say anything about knowing him years ago and him not remembering me, because all in all...I didn't want to seem like a dork in his presence.



The session wound down with Bobby and Tito comparing flip tricks on the flat bottom while some dude rode around the round wall.

I'm totally 'way thankful' for Kramer and crew for busting ass all summer so that the dirt bags now have somewhere to ride in town...this will help our crew grow stronger, and back together. Right now I can't wait for a group hug and that session down the road when I can DJ and we can all skate to The Cure and Bright Eyes....Guys?

Yeah Jay in the kitchen

Yep, ol' Jay baked a cake. I never baked a cake before, so I was really nervous to see how it would all turn out. The box of cake mix had instructions and it all seemed pretty easy but I couldn't help but think, “Do I have what it takes to bake?”
As it turns out, it doesn't take much to bake. No really, baking a cake is pretty easy. I had to improvise a little bit, using 3 medium eggs instead of 2 large eggs, and mixing it all up with a fork instead of using a blender, but shit turned out fine. Unless you're absolutely retarded, you too can bake a cake.
The shittiest part of my baking experience was consulting with Nelson and his pro pastry chef brother Mitch for advice. I asked them for tips and shit because I know they're good at baking but they were total dicks about it. Nelson was all doubled over with laughter when I asked him about when to put the frosting on top of the cake. “Frosting? FROSTING?? Oh my god I have to call Mitch and tell him how stupid you are!!” I didn't realize the word “frosting” was all bad to say and stuff. I mean, that's what it says on the can. Nelson acted like I was a total retard because I don't know the baking jargon that .01% of the world's population uses. Like I give a shit. Dude's all proud of his little baking words.
So then Mitch gets on the phone with me and acts all like “hey I'm a pastry chef, I do this for a living.” And I'm like “hey Mitch, my cake turned out ok but I think I put the frosting on top too soon” and Mitch starts laughing at me like Nelson. “Frosting? Jay, in the biz, we call it...BUTTER crème.” They were both feeling really superior about their stupid words that nobody cares about. Mitch ended up giving me some good advice and I will probably ask him for more tips in my future baking endeavors. But really, I'm kind of turned off from baking now, honestly, because of how Nelson and Mitch were such snobs about it. I probably won't ever bake a cake again.

“WE CALL IT BUTTER CREME!”

God what a couple of douchebags.

Like a phoenix...

...the Dukes of Lancaster rises anew!

Ok, not really. I just wanted to get into the hot Blogspot action and Nelson suggested I use the Dukes name, as I'll probably end up posting a lot of silly Dukes-esque stuff. So that's that.

Let the blogging commence!

-J.